Love Checklist

By June Enright, 11 Mar 19:09

Strong chemistry isn't all that makes a relationship. Find out what you need and stick to your list to make it last.

Do you have a love checklist?

By Amy Klein

Dana got divorced when she was 34, an age where many of her friends hadn’t even walked down the aisle yet. Now, when she listens to their dating stories — stories about “magic” and “chemistry” and “clicking” — she knows that although she has suffered, she is also wiser.

“When I met my husband, we clicked from the very beginning. The chemistry, the immediate connection—it was all there,” Dana said. What wasn’t there, she discovered in the three years of marriage following their whirlwind six-month courtship, were subtler, more important elements necessary to make a long-term relationship work. Although her ex-husband was effusive in expressing sentiments like “I love you” while they dated, he couldn’t get real when they were dealing with the day-to-day of married life. “He wasn’t very open emotionally,” Dana explained. Now, a year after the end of her marriage, she’s ready to go out into the field again—but this time, better prepared.

Dana has made a list of her non-negotiables—her checklist for those qualities she’s looking for in a mate. Vulnerability and openness are high on it. It may not sound romantic, but she believes it’s essential to finding the right partner. “I’m not like my friends looking for a magical connection from the moment we meet,” she said. �

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Tags: dating, romance, love, sex, marriage, list, finances