Why Ladies Should Lunch

By June Enright, 25 Feb 22:07

Lunch instead of dinner is a great choice for a first date.

So the latest Maybe Mr. Right is returning all the signals. The potential of love is in the air and the two of you have decided to give it a go and go on a date.

But what to do with your evening? Romantic dinner at that hot new restaurant downtown. An intimate coffee in that cute, cozy shop in your neighborhood? A movie? A bar? His place? Your place?

Try this: Ditch the idea of going out after hours and grab lunch instead.

While at first blush, a casual meal in the heat of the day may not sound as glamorous, there are some very good reasons to pick lunch over dinner.

Safety First
Rape whistles and emergency numbers don't exactly top anyone’s list of romantic additions to an outing. But safety is something that women must consider when dating someone new. Especially when Mr. Right is Mr. I Just Met You Right Now. This is not to cast unnecessary doubt on any of the wonderful and gentlemanly guys out there, but stuff happens and it’s definitely better to be safe than sorry. Plus, any real gentleman will understand a woman looking out for herself.

Going to lunch instead of dinner definitely helps keep you safe for several reasons.

There are more people on the street and the lights are higher in the restaurant. This will make sure that both of you regard each other with more respect and more appropriate boundaries. It’s harder to sneak a bum pinch under the bright noonday sun.

If you’re both working, you’re more likely to meet at your lunch spot instead of being picked up. This keeps you safe by a) preventing him from springing any surprises on you while you’re in his car and b) provides you with a nice getaway in case he’s not so much dangerous as dull as dirt.

Lower Stakes, Smaller Steaks
There’s definitely a lot of pressure to get a dinner right. Restaurants often have different, more interesting (and more expensive) menus for dinner. There’s no such thing as a lunch coast, but there is a dinner jacket. Holiday lunches are forgotten and skipped for the all-important Thanksgiving Dinner.

When you’re on a date and have so many other things to worry about—hair, clothes, first impression, a kiss??!—why add extra pressure by subjecting yourself to a high-pressure dinner?

Lunch is a casual meal. People are naturally more relaxed near the top of their day. By the time dinner comes, there can be up to 12 hours of problems to deal with. You don’t have to worry about looking nice because you’re still fresh from the morning and if you work, you probably look pretty decent anyway. Meals are cheaper, so money’s less of an issue. And portion sizes are smaller, so there’s less of a debate as to how much you want him to see you eat.

With lower stakes and fewer pressures to deal with at lunch, you’re free to be your wonderful self. Nerves will be calmer, your head will be clearer and your date will be better for it.

Blissful Boundaries
With a day waiting for you when your date is over, there’s only so much you can do in the hour or so you have to meet your new beau. Unless you’re looking for an afternoon quickie, sex is less likely to happen. And with a short amount of time to chat, you’re less likely to come out too soon with too-personal details that would discolor your outing. And while you may want to do more, not doing more is often the sexier choice and if you have to get back to the office, it’s your only choice.

Sticking to boundaries may sound a bit prudish, especially if you’re like me and have Nip/Tuck on TiVO. But respecting yourself and your date by keeping your hands (and embarrassing stories) to yourself for the moment will help you to feel stronger and more in control. And the two of you will have a chance to build a bond based on respect and not just attraction and impulses.

Taste Testing
The best thing about going out to lunch on a date is that you can always come back that evening for seconds. If the two of you are just clicking like crazy and can’t bear the thought of having to answer to the clock back at the office, there’s still time in that evening to meet up again for dinner, dessert and anything else you might have in mind.

Tags: lunch, date, safety, boundaries, respect, food, eating